softness in love.

 

i rmbr weeks back, while having some free conversations wit some stdnts, someone asked me dis - out of nowhere - “sir, how will u knw if a person is good for u?”. i was stunned a bit. i din see it comin. and the rest is history. i wasnt sure what my answer was like, but i rmbr seein her wit dat look at in her eyes, digesting the words i shared.

honestly, i think there r many signs. but to me, if u asked me so - one thg stands out most: they bring out the softness in u.

u knw, dat version of u dat you dun always show to the world. the one who still gets excited over lil thgs - bright colours, fluffy cats, soothing music et al. the u who shares silly reels, saves photos of baby cats, and doesnt mind watching the same movie again and again. dat version of u who hums while doin all those lil shyte, randomly enjoyin the rain, and finds reasons to giggle even after a heavy, long and tiring day.

the u who speaks gently. who doesnt need to pretend. who isnt trying to impress or pls anyone at all. the one who jst.. existing. calm. real. whole.

and i think dats the real answer - when someone makes u feel safe enough to let ur guard down. when u no longer hav to be on high alert. when u realise u’ve outgrown the version of urself who always had to defend, prove, or protect.

bcoz maybe the best ppl for us r not the ones who fix us, but the ones who remind us: u, too, can be soft. u, too, deserve to be loved. u, too, r capable of givin love back - gently, freely, and fully.

power of showing up.

 

in our toughest moments, we dun always need advice pun. we dun need dat kinda "alaa.. aku dulu lagi teruk", or "sabar lah, ni semua ujian" kinda shyte. sometimes all we need is someone to be there - a quiet presence, probably a gentle touch, atau cukup sekadar those small lil thgs yg buat ko rasa less alone. these simple gestures surely become our anchor when life feels too heavy to carry.

i understand dat pain is personal; setiap org ada struggle yg dia lalu, and simpan sendiri. but having someone sit quietly beside u reminds u yg ko tak perlu lalu semua ni sorg2, is beyond everythg. it’s their silent way of saying, "aku ttp syg ko, no matter how lost u r."

kdg2, words are not even necessary. jst being there can mean everythg. in its purest form, love helps us find our way back - even when kita rasa like completely lost.

so rmbr, never underestimate the power of simply showing up.

Sunday (and esk Monday).

 

it’s Sunday, hari ke-8 puasa, and aku rasa okay je. much better, in fact. probably ada hikmahnya aku dok berpuasa sunat before. sahur jst minum air kosong pun aku ok, inshaAllah. probably bkn tu je, maybe sbb it is Sunday la jgk kot. theres somethg about Sundays yg buat dunia rasa lbh slow, lbh chill. it’s dat one day where ko tak pyh nak rush mender, tak perlu alarm pagi2, tak perlu fikir banyak benda. and Ramadhan? ko tak pyh kalut nak fikir wats for breakfast, wats for lunch semua. ko jst relax, tarik nafas, and exist.

to sebnrnya dlm kepala aku ni, aku tau - it’s still Sunday. and trow? Monday. fcuk. big time.

dat’s when the mood starts to shift. Monday ni sumpah ada vibe dia sendiri - dat grind mode, hustle, bustle, classes, and dat never-ending cycle of “bodoe bila nak habis ni?”. and esk looks like aku ada kelas from pg sampai ptg. makin aku fikir, makin rasa mls. tak fikir, kena fikir jgk. for i was away from the ofc for the whole one week - last week - and esk first day masuk keje balik. not dat aku org besar or somethg or someone yg acah byk keje, tp keje ttp keje. kan? and bkn aku mls nak masuk kelas ke apa, tp mls nak hadap the whole Monday energy yang biasanya tak mudah.

but then again, kalau fikir balik, ko dah lalui so many Mondays before. some were bad, some were jst biasa2, and ada jgk yg surprisingly ok. so i gez, instead of stressing about it, maybe aku patut chill je lah kot. enjoy the day as it is, maybe i shld do some readin, on somethg light, or jst bagi otak aku ruang sblm masuk battlefield esk. buku? maybe not. sounds nerdy. maybe some movies. or keluar layan sembang dgn si Qayyum, since Milo yg dlm rmh mls even nak bukak mulut.

i knw at the end of the day, Monday is just another day. penat tu confirm ada, but mcm hari2 lain, it will pass. maybe aku shld look for some small thgs to look forward to - dpt layan kopi Aik Cheong pun sedap pagi2 ni. but no, aku puasa. so, apa2 je lah.

trow’s gonna come anyway, so y let it ruin the last few peaceful hours of Sunday, kan?

gitchiew.

the window.

 

the kinda silence dat only nite understands. the city glows outside, stretching itself beneath ur window, restless and alive. but in there, it’s jst u, a messy bed, and dat half-open window dat feels like a portal to ur own thoughts.

it’s funny how a view like dat can make u feel both small and infinite at the same time. the lights from afar flicker like quiet reminders — some ppl r still chasing dreams, some r jst tryin to survive the nite, and some, like u, r somewhere in between.

the window is open jst enuff for the night air to creep in, cool against ur skin. it smells like rain mght come later. or maybe it’s jst u hoping it does, because rain always makes it easier to feel. to think. to jst.. exist.

sometimes, a pic like dis is not about wat u see, but about everythg u feel when u see it.