some days, the best thg u can do is get the hell outta bed even tho u dun knw y. u move even if the day feels heavy before it even starts. u wash ur face, drin some water, and eat somethg simple. u dun do dis bcoz u feel powerful; u do it bcoz being alive is an act of resistance.
u write one sentence. then another. the words come out slowly and clumsily, but they do come. and u knw dat the day like dis, dats all u need. u either talk to someone or u dun, but u allow ur voice out of ur bloody head. u go to places u said u wanna go, even tho u really want to cancel. u stay away from the thg u promised urself u wldnt go back to, even tho it still calls ur bloody name.
u pull back the curtains and let the light touch everythg u've been avoiding. u go to bed when u meant to, not when ur too tired to stay awake. u forgive ppl who never deserved ur fcukin kindness, not for their sake but bcoz ur sick of carryin em. after dat, u fcukin let em go. totally.
u start to look for the truth in the fractures of ur life. dats where the answers r. u eat, even if u do it alone in public places, sitting quietly and learning how to live w/o getting smaller. u let go of thgs dat dun fit anymore, even if they used to keep u alive. u walk about bcoz even a lil bit of movement is still hope.
u either answer a text or u dun. u find out dat not sayin anythg is also a choice - and u learn dat in a hard way. and before the day is out, u do one small thg dat brings u closer to the person u wanna be.
and somehow - w/o even knwing it - u get thru another day.
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