u hav urself.

 

aku pernah terbaca somewhere, a long time ago - yg Ernest Hemingway once said, "the hardest lesson i’ve had to learn as an adult is the relentless need to keep going, no matter how shattered i feel inside." damn, after so many years - i found dat it is to be so true, so relatable. dat no matter how shattered ko rasa about life, about thgs around u, or wat-not; u still need to keep goin. 

life doesnt pause, not even when ur hearts r heavy or ur spirits unravel. it keeps moving - unrelenting, unapologetic - demanding dat we move along. and, do u hav a choice? yes, but to move on, to go along it, and fcukin dance to it well. ko tak de masa nak stop ke aper utk tarik nafas or betulkan diri sepenuhnya pun. hidup ttp kena teruskan, s/ada ko nak atau tak nak, whether ko ready or not. harsh? well, it is. 

as kids, we believed in happy endings. tp bila dah tua ni, baru ko fhm yg hidup ni sebnrnya tak dtg dgn resolution yg mudah. or penyelesaian akan dtg bergolek kat kaki ko, jst like dat. no, it is not. it is messy, unpredictable, and often exhausting. survival is not about grand moments of triumph pun. kdg2, it is jst about waking up, showing up, and moving forward when everythg inside u wants to stop, so freakin bad.

and yet, we endure.

even when we fall apart or feel lost, we somehow find a way to keep goin. in those darkest moments, we discover strength we never knw existed pun. we learn to hold space for our pain and offer comfort to ourselves. resilience is not loud, or heroic. it is not dat quiet defiance - the refusal to let life break us completely.

one of the hardest lessons i’ve learned? no one is comin to save u. u hav to save urself. tak kira lah apa je yg org lain janji kat ko - they'll be there, be here apa jadah semua, bulshyte. u only hav ur fcukin self. u jst need to be there, for urself. so next time when someone promise u the moon the stars the watever fcuk it is - smile, and thanked em well. dun lose urself, for u mght wanna need it one day. urself, dat is. 

yet dats the miracle of being human, we manage. we stand up tall back again, tak kira lah brp kali ko tersungkur pun.  

so, here’s to us - the tired, the broken, the hopeful. we endure. we rise. and we keep going.

and wats better than dat?