happy bday, dear self!

 

31.01.2025/Friday/12.35am.

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it's my birthday.

another year folded, tucked away in the archives of time, leavin behind echoes of laughter, moments of stillness, and the quiet hum of lessons learnt. it feels strange, dis day. a reminder dat time is moving, always moving, whether i am ready or not.

i shld be grateful. and i am.

grateful for the days dat came bearing warmth, for the ppl who hav stood beside me - some unwavering, some passing like seasons. grateful for the struggles dat shaped me, the quiet victories, and even the losses dat left empty spaces in the heart. each moment, whether joyous or painful, has been a teacher, carving depth into the existence. grateful for the chances I had and the opportunities i pursued. 

yet, beneath the gratitude, there is somethg else - a quiet melancholy dat lingers like a shadow at the edge of the thoughts. it's the weight of the unknown. the realization dat no matter how much i hav seen, how much i hav done, the road ahead remains unwritten, a blank space filled wit both possibility and uncertainty. i can feel the changes is near, yet i am not sure wat it is.

another year older, another year wiser, or so they say. but wat does wisdom look like? is it the ability to embrace change w/o fear? to accept dat not all questions will hav answers? to understand dat life is not about grasping at time but rather letting it unfold, moment by moment? i dun knw.

there is a certain hollowness in knwing dat life moves forward whether u hav figured it out or not. a part of u aches for the simplicity of past years, when birthdays were just cake and laughter, w/o the weight of reflection pressing against ur chest. but here u r, on the precipice of another year, feelin everythg all at once.

i do not knw wat the next year holds, and perhaps dat is the point. i mght be around havin the same contemplating thoughts as now next year, or maybe not. the unknown will always be there, waitin. but so will i. wit all dat i hav become, and all dat i am still becoming.

today is my birthday. and i will wake up, breathe in the air of another year, and step forward. one foot in gratitude, the other in wonder.

u hav pleasant day ahead, Shahezam!