longing is strange, isnt it?

 

longing is strange, isnt it? it doesnt show up when ur alrdy sad - it shows up when u think ur doin fcukin fine.

ur goin about ur day, minding ur shyte well, and then suddenly a name crosses ur bloody mind. someone u used to care about. someone who - and one fuckin point, felt important in a way dat's hard to explain now. ur not tryin to rmbr them - but darn the thought jst slips in.

life has a way of moving ppl around w/o much explanation. no big argument. no fcukin dramatic ending. jst time, distance, and silence slowly settling in. and u tell urself dat u've moved on. most days, u probably fcukin hav.

still, some memories stick around. thet come back at ease. they come back in some quiet moment. late at nite. early in the morn. when thgs slow down enuff for ur bloody thoughts to catch up wit u.

u dun miss the person the way u used to. wat u miss is how life felt back then. lighter. simpler. maybe it is the version of u dat existed in dat season dat ur really missing. they r probably living their own life now. in a good way. better w/o u. busy wit their own worries, their own joys. and honestly u hope they r ok. there is no anger in dat, any more. ur too tired for such shitty shyte. jst acceptance, dats all left.

but then - some names stay wit us. not loudly. not painfully. jst quietly. and maybe, i said maybe - dat's normal. maybe it jst means u once felt deeply – and dat part of u is still very much alive.