kopi, and dat santai-ness.

 

so here i am, still at my desk, coffee in hand, staring at my screen acah mcm tgh hdp benda penting mcm tu. pdahal, takde mende pun. dats the beauty of being early - byk masa nak buat whatever before the day actually starts pun. and of coz, my so-called schedule kosong macam perut aku ni seblm breakfast. watdya expect, post-Christmas, end of the year. tp tu la, habit is habit, kan? open my Google Calendar, the Tasks, to-do list glance thru, and pretend like ada benda crucial nak check. hahaha it is all part of the ritual.

kalo ikut ati, boleh je aku duduk layan angin air-cond ni sambil scroll phone, tp tatau la.. dis kepala of mine dah mula listing benda yg aku tahu aku kena settle. tak byk, tp ada la - like prepping for the comin semester, clearing some files sbb nak EKSA bagai semua ni, or maybe finally lookin into dat one small but annoying task aku asyik delay. the question dia skang ni, nak buat ke tak nak? haaa.. ko nampak dak? biasalah, internal struggle pagi-pagi. mcm haram pun ada, kan?

but honestly, aku suka mornings mcm ni. tenang, tak rushing, semua org masih warming up for the day. the quiet hum of the office mcm bg space to me to plan for the day, atau at least pretend to. even bila semua bnda tak rasa urgent, theres dis comfort dlm having time. it’s rare, kan? maksud aku, bila semua bnda dlm hidup asyik nak cpt, moments mcm ni mmg priceless. i mean, ko fhm kan apa maksud aku? emm, btw - the smell of the coffee ni serious aku tak bley blah. heaven atas dunia.

anyway, aku rasa vibe lain maciem hari ni, sbb maybe esk Sabtu. theres always dat subtle excitement on Fridays, kan? mcm satu kaki ko dah melangkah masuk weekend, tp satu lagi masih kena terima hakikat, “babe, ko still in Friday” it is a weird mix of relief and responsibility. tp aku ok je. Friday morns selalu bagi aku ruang nak fikir apa aku nak buat for the weekend nanti.

maybe aku plan to do nothg - jst lepak, tengok Netflix, or baca buku yg aku janji nak hbskan dari dua mggu lepas, tak hbs2. eem.. but i hav appointment dgn bengkel kereta on Saturday, and then balik packing sbb Sunday sblm noon i will hit the road for Shah Alam. Monday whole day i will be in MSU. see, knwing me, mesti ada somethg kena buat, sbb aku jns tak reti duduk diam lama2 melangut tak buat apa. and kalo aku jujur dgn diri sendiri, aku suka jgk la rasa productive tu, w'pun bnda kecik je pun. it is mcm small wins utk diri sendiri. centu.

seriously, bkn selalu mcm ni. weekdays time stdnts r in mmg haywire - classes, clinical visits/teachings and a lot more. tu belum kasuk bnda2 ad-hoc, mengejut terkejut segala. so, i need to inhale and enjoy masa stdnt-less ni, and preparing myself for new sem, few days to come.

for now, aku nak hbskan dis coffee dulu. and top-up later. then maybe aku start dgn bnda yang ringan2. clear the desk, baca emails, sort files yang patutnya dah lama aku delete tp still ada sbb sentimental value (konon). kalo semua tu dah settle, aku boleh la pretend mcm aku dah conquer satu ofc pagi ni. small steps je, but small steps pun kira progress, kan?

alrite, lets see how today plays out. aku rasa good vibes ni akan carry sepanjang hari, insyaAllah. kalo tak pun, at least aku dah mula hari aku dengan betul - coffee, thoughts, and sedikit effort. lets hope for the best!