Thursday, 26 December 2024

Khamis tp rasa mcm Isnin.

 



Khamis ni, tp vibe dia mcm Isnin yg tak move on. u knw dat kinda day yg rasa berat nak buat apa2 pun ko malas? yg rasa mcm semua benda tak jln, and worse, mcm semua org hilang tatau depa pi mana. kat ofc ni giler lengang, nak cari org pun rasa mcm calling spirits. ni semua bahana kena cover boss, sbb "ko dah cuti kan Shah, sblm Christmas. lps Christmas aku plak cuti, ko cover". 

mgkn sbb aku baru je cuti pre-Christmas, lama jgk la kan. bila dah cuti lama, balik kerja ni rasa mcm kena tampar dgn reality check. or maybe sbb hujung thn.  tp honestly, aku rasa ini efek hujung thn jgk la kot. vibe hjg thn kan selalu pelik sket. semua org mcm checked out mentally, yg fizikal pun ada yg terus hilang cuti pjg. anat. kita yg tinggal ni la terkontang-kanting nya. ofc jadi senyap mcm library (nak kata kubur, mcm scary plak em emm), motivation pulak drop sampai hjg kaki. nak buat apa-apa pun rasa mcm jenuh Ya Auloh Nabila, bantuin aku.

and me? aku malas giler. serious malas. i do hav few thgs scheduled to settle ari ni, tp nak mula kerja rasa pun berat mcm nak mampos. fokus pun ke laut. nak buat apa pun mcm “nanti arr dulu,” tp “nanti” tu pun tatau bila. plan aku skang simple je lah - tggu jam 4.30 ptg, balik, dan bukpos. dats the goal aku hari ni. ECO mode on. survival mode pun ON.

mgkn jgk hjg thn ni ada energy dia sendiri. u’ve been grinding all year long, pastu dtg bln Disember mcm nak remind ko, “eh, ko dah penat kot, lek jap.” tp at the same time, kepala aku ni dah start fikir thn baru. semester baru. classes dah beratur mcm Google Calender. ko excited for a fresh start, tp rasa malas ni mcm tak nak let go 2024 mcm tu je. agitchiew. over kan?

apa pun, aku harap utk hari ni simple je. tak de ad-hoc meeting, tak de apa-apa issue yg perlu aku buat decision, and nanti sampai rmh, bukak kasut, throw myself atas sofa, dan tak buat apa2. kdg2, life’s about small victories mcm tu je, i am sure.

so, to those of u yg share the same shyte, the same feelin, yg suffering and strugglin kat luar sana, jst hang in there. kalo Khamis ni rasa mcm (anat) Isnin, at least ingat esok dah Jumaat! we’re almost there. let us finish strong - or at least crawl to the finish line sambil makan leftover breakfast ko beli td.




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