no more regrets.

 

i dun regret wat i’ve been thru over the past three years. if anythg, i’m grateful. these years have been hard teachers, but i’ve learned more than i ever thought i wld - about myself, about ppl, and about wat it means to live honestly.

i learned dat sometimes u have to break to understand ur strength. losing my way wasnt the setback i thought it was. it was the beginning of seeing thgs clearly, a reminder dat i cld hold myself steady, even when life din give me anythg solid to lean on.

ppl who walked away taught me jst as much as those who stayed. they taught me how to stand on my own feet, to let go w/o bitterness, to be my own anchor when everythg else felt like it was slipping away. silence, too, has its lessons; loneliness showed me how to tap into a kind of strength i din know i had, to find purpose within myself instead of outside of it.

i learned about forgiveness - not jst for others but for myself. for every time i was too harsh on myself, for every mistake i thought i cldnt come back from. i’ve learned dat i could rise up again, and i have. i let go of that version of me who was jst doing his best to survive, who din know better yet. and i made peace wit my past, too.

now, here i am - a little scarred, a little bruised, but whole. i carry wit me the lessons of every stumble, every heartbreak, every long night spent wondering if it was all worth it. now i know it was. these years have built someone who knows his own worth, who isnt afraid to walk alone, who understands dat life is messy, unpredictable, and sometimes painful - but it’s mine, and i’m the one who gets to shape it.

healing, isnt a final destination. it’s a journey. it’s revisiting wounds i thought had healed, peeling back layers i’d tried to bury. it’s messy, it’s uncomfortable, and some days, it feels like tearing down everythg i’ve only jst begun to rebuild. but i trust the process now. i’ve learned dat growth doesnt always come easy and dat sometimes the greatest strength is born out of silent, unseen battles.

i learned to make peace wit uncertainty, to breathe even when i dun knw wat tomorrow holds. life doesnt come wit a guide, and maybe dat’s where the beauty lies - each day an unknwn road, each choice a brushstroke on a canvas i’m still figuring out how to appreciate. i’m not chasing perfection anymore; i’m chasing wat’s real. i want to show up as i am, grounded, unshaken, ready to face watever comes.

and more than anythg, i learned dat i am enough. even wit the scars, the flaws, the silent struggles - i am enough. i am worthy of love, of joy, of all the good thgs. not because i’ve done anythg extraordinary, but because i am here, and i am me. these years stripped me down to my essence, and now i see myself fully, w/o apology. i’ve earned dis peace, dis quiet strength dat sits deep within. it’s a testament to every tough night, every tear, every piece dat refused to give up.

maybe dat’s what life is. a series of lessons wrapped in pain and joy, in breaking and rebuilding. a journey to remind me dat i can stand tall, dat i am resilient, and dat, no matter wat, i will always find my way back to myself.

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Befrienders Ipoh, 13 Nov. 2024/Wed.